Football transfer rumours: Eden Hazard and Seydou Keïta to Liverpool?

It seems you can't just win a trophy for the sheer joy of it these days, readers. Instead it needs to be part of a long-term vision or strategy. Just ask Liverpool's director of football, Damien Comolli. It turns out that Liverpool's Rumbelows Cup win on Sunday wasn't just a nice day out in London and a chance to equal the heady heights of Birmingham City's 2010-11 season. No, instead it was part of something called The Project. "A lot players I know are very interested about joining The Project because it's a very interesting Project," Comolli says in today's Mirror. "We already know that there are big players who want to join us next summer because they believe in The Project."

The Mirror is willing to scupper The Project in its infancy by naming these players: Spain international playmaker Javi Martínez, Barcelona's Seydou Keïta and Lille's Belgian forward Eden Hazard. The Metro reckons Granit Xhaka is in on it too. What they won't tell you is that the second part of The Project involves Jay Spearing developing a high-frequency soundwave machine that will be used to control the UN security council from a secret lab built far below Anfield.

Harry Redknapp has a project of his own: trying to make the best out of the mess that was Sunday's north London derby. To that end he will sign Spurs' tormentor in chief, Theo Walcott, for £10m. "Harry loves Theo," a "close friend" tells today's Express. "He would love to manage him again for Spurs or England." Marouane Chamakh can help Theo pack. According to the Mirror, Fiorentina have offered the Moroccan striker a "£6m escape route". At £6m, the escape route will presumably include a private ermine-lined tunnel direct from Britain to Italy with a diversion to Spain for a weekend on the Costa del Sol (drinks and sun lotion not included).

The Mirror does, however, have better news for Arsenal fans when it comes to Robin van Persie. The club will tempt him to stay with a £4m signing-on fee, a £100,000-a-week contract and unlimited use of a secret tunnel if he ever fancies getting away to Florence for the weekend.

Assuming he hasn't been sacked by the time you get to the end of this sentence, André Villas-Boas will sign Hulk. "I see room for an explosive player on the wing, someone who is strong in one-on-one situations and Hulk fits that profile," Villas-Boas told Portuguese radio.

And finally, Birmingham City will take Manchester United defender Ritchie de Laet on loan for the rest of the season. Oh, and Paul Pogba could be on his way out of Old Trafford too. "It is a precarious situation. It is difficult," said Pogba's agent. "United want him. It is up to the boy to make some decisions."
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